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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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The tourney kicks off, and I’m in the zone. I’m playing my heart out. I mean, I’m sweating like a pig. But then, I get knocked out in the first round. Ugh! I’m fuming. Like, how did I lose to that guy? He was spamming moves like crazy. I’m sitting there, trying to process my defeat, and my buddy’s like, “Dude, it’s just a game.” I’m like, “Yeah, but it’s MY game!”

Gregor Vračko of Hiša Denk Named Chef of the Year by New Gault & Millau Guide